Wednesday, October 28, 2009

"“What you see is only half of what I am. I have a hundred different faces, a million different personalities. Only a part of me is what I show you. I display a fraction of my true self. Everything is just a facade. It’s not the truth of me. You don’t know me" but I want you to. So help me to let you get to know the person that I am, who I want to become.

Friday, October 23, 2009

I'll Be Fine

"It's like you can love someone so much, but you just have let it go. If you can tell they're acting like it never meant nothing. Just keep your head up because there's always going be someone out there for you who will show you how much you're worth."

Sunday, October 18, 2009

January 4, 1990 - October 19, 2007

i don't like this time of year.. i wonder what Monday will feel like for me? because Monday will be two years after you passed away and left. i know you're in a better place tho and no longer suffering from the pain. i only wish more memories could have been made, but that's what death is. its nice to look back at our positive experiences and all the fun we had yet it's sad that you're no longer here especially at a young age. I'm glad that you lived each day to the fullest and had me around. you've made an impact on our lives that's for sure. you gave us your love, trust, and friendship. i am very thankful. but i get upset because only 17 years of life were lived on this earth. when i found out you were diagnosed with cancer, i just couldn't believe nor want to accept it. all those months of chemotherapy must have been hell and i wish none of it ever happened in the first place. you are my hero. all the pain and all that suffering even when you were sick to your stomach, you never gave up. 15 months of suffering and heartbreak and you never once gave up. you are truly my hero, my angel. i love you Kalvin Saechao.

Monday, October 12, 2009

"I love what you are, and what you do and how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength that carries you through. I’ve seen the best of you. I’ve seen the worst of you. 
And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. And I love you."

Saturday, October 10, 2009

When you know you've fallen for someone so hard and think that the feelings are mutual.... reality slaps you in the face and leaves a big ass mark on your face... not just your face but a big ass scar on your heart.. so when you know something's to good to be true then it really must be to good to be true.. :( hard to trust people when you let your judgment get in the way of all your feelings.. need to let your mind clear so you can function a whole lot better..

Sunday, October 4, 2009

I'm just drunk! Haha it feels so chill laying down in the drive way dunk as fuck staring at the sky. The moon looks so nice! Ahhh! I'm just going to chill here on the ground! Hahaha I don't give a fuck nigga!!!! Thug life! Puwahahaha! :P FML! Tho I have to be up at 7 and get back on the grind.
-_-

Saturday, October 3, 2009

discontent

the way i feel right about now.. yep, discontent. great things have happened quite recently but yet i still don't feel happy. i wonder what the heck it is that is going to change this mood? i feel so incomplete. i think that's what i was getting to. i feel as if someone just tore a huge chunk out of me and the hole is only getting bigger. wtf is going on with my emotions? i can't even figure it out myself. lame! -_- but here's a quote i read earlier and this is keeping me sane.

"I’ve learned this past year. I’ve changed, I’ve grown. Maybe things do happen for a reason, maybe they don’t. but no matter what, they still happen. That’s what we need to remember. I learned to stop analyzing things, to just let them happen. And if I get hurt, or if something bad happens, then it happens. There’s nothing I can do to change that. I’ve learned to go with my gut, and that it’s okay to make mistakes because the ones that matter, won’t care. I’ve learned that love really is as great as they say it is. I’ve learned that your friends can save you from your worst enemy: yourself. And most importantly, I’ve learned that today is all we have.”

-just going off that makes me feel some what better. trying to stay positive and make shit happen!